01
Players
“I slipped because the grass was too grassy.”
Blames the groundsmanFootball’s gone off script
No script.
Just football.
Players, gaffers, refs and VAR — drawn badly, behaving worse.
FOOTBALL OFF SCRIPT ● CHECKING EVERYTHING. UNDERSTANDING NOTHING. ● 90 MINUTES. ZERO COMMON SENSE. ● THE REPLAY HAS A REPLAY. STILL NO DECISION. ●
Who are we?
The group chat,
drawn to life.
Football Off Script is a cartoon comedy brand built around the moments that make football brilliant, ridiculous and impossible to take quietly.
Football after common sense has gone home. We turn player egos, managerial meltdowns, rogue referees and six-minute VAR archaeology into fast, sharp cartoons.
It’s matchday chaos with group-chat logic — starring characters who should never be trusted with a tactics board.
The beautiful game. Drawn ugly.
The official shitshow review
No facts.
Three loud alibis.
A forensic breakdown of who fucked it, who denies fucking it, and why VAR still needs another angle.
02
Managers
“The plan was perfect. The eleven idiots doing it were the issue.”
Backing the lads publicly03
VAR officers
“We’ve zoomed in 800%. It’s either offside or a ham sandwich.”
Still fucking checking
Official ruling
Everyone’s talking bollocks.
The club shop-ish
Merch pending.
Excuses available now.
Highly questionable purchases coming soon. Probably before VAR makes a decision.
Opening date under VAR review
When will this shop be open?
Coming soon.The till’s gone to VAR.
Serious game.
Unserious takes.
Zero pundit voices. Maximum tunnel bollocks.